I love The Office, and even though I'll be playing at the WBCN Rumble at Harper's Ferry on Thursday night when it returns from its 6-week hiatus, I'll still be at home, on my house, in my sweatpants, watching it in spirit. Here is what will happen:
Roy is going to start beating Jim up real bad and then Dwight is going to come to Jim’s defense and hit Roy with a stapler, knocking Roy out. The whole office is going to think Roy is dead, and Michael is going to decide that they need to hide Roy’s body and pretend nothing ever happened. Stanley and Ryan are going to start digging a shallow grave for Roy and Pam is going to completely freak out, at which point Karen is going to convince Michael that Pam, too, needs to die, in order to keep the secret. This point will be unbeknownst to Jim, who will be hopped up on painkillers while Andy, newly returned from anger management counseling, is stitching him up in the conference room, because if Jim were to go to the hospital it would raise suspicion about the deaths of Pam and Roy. Bob Vance, also, will die, for reasons unrelated to the circumstances above. How will Michael keep the plans for Pam’s murder away from Jim, and how will anyone stop Creed from detonating his doomsday device? Hilariously, that’s how! This week on The Office!